Jump start last week was fun. I only had four 7th-graders. It was a nice way to ease back into the routine. I was able to make some progress getting the room pulled together. I was too fixated on getting two bulletin boards recovered – the pink and red one. This is likely not my final form for this board, but it’s OK.
My teacher meetings start tomorrow with my new colleagues. I should be more ambitious – food needs to be prepped, laundry folded – but I’m writing and watching Hulu. Holding onto my relaxed self while I still can. Tomorrow is a rest day, so I have some time in the morning to pull meals together for the day. We have meetings almost every day, meet and greet with parents one evening, I have to finish setting up the room, and do some lesson planning. I’m starting from scratch with everything at this new school. I’m sure I will be overwhelmed. Yeah – chillin’ right now. Calm before the storm, I suppose.
I got some good news last Friday! Or at least I’m happy about it. Got another DXA scan a couple days ago. The last one was done back in February after a mini-cut phase. Two days after that DXA, my husband had his car accident. (He is doing great, but there were a lot of life and financial complications that are on-going.) And then I had to change jobs. The last six months have been the most stressful period of my life since my mother died in 1990. It was truly a test of my new life as a bodybuilder. There were plenty of days when I didn’t want to workout. I’ve only been at this for five years, so it would have been easy to slip back into my old ways. I know I have a cortisol issue, so stress isn’t something I can take for granted. I’ve had these DXAs done a couple times a year since 2011. When under stress before, I’ve lost muscle and gained fat while lifting and doing cardio. This time around, I’ve been avoiding cardio since that can be a cortisol trigger for me. My plan was to eat enough to keep the muscle growing, but not so much that I would gain a ton, but I knew I’d gain some fat. That’s how I work. But I was still not sure what to expect. It was entirely possible that I would gain fat and lose muscle again.
It looks like I’ve gained about a pound of lean mass and six pounds of fat since February. I’m thrilled to have gained any lean mass at all considering the stress. I expected about 5 pounds of fat, so that wasn’t a shock. Not concerned. I started biking to work this last week. Between the biking and teaching on my feet all day, I should be able to create a sufficient caloric deficit without having to cut much food. Meeting with my coach tomorrow – hoping for some big changes in the program. Because I’m a bit fluffy, I’d like to start a cut and I really need a new lifting program. Some things have worked very well, but other things are just frustrating and it would be nice to do something else.
Progress pics – this should be my most “fluffy” phase. My picture from May is first, then today’s. I am about 3 pounds heavier today than in the May pics. I don’t see much difference, but I’m not good at judging my own progress. I gained grams most places – that’s hard to see right now. I only know that from the DXA scan. I can’t flex fluff.
Pictures like these stir up negative thoughts like mud from the bottom of a clear pond. The best way for me to deal with it is to share the pics and move past it. As uncomfortable as I feel physically, I believe I only need to lose 20-25 pounds over the next 11 months – and that’s not extreme at all. I’m working with a coach who has the experience and perspective about making prep work with life that I need right now. Just anxious to get started.
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