Jump start last week was fun.  I only had four 7th-graders.  It was a nice way to ease back into the routine.  I was able to make some progress getting the room pulled together.  I was too fixated on getting two bulletin boards recovered – the pink and red one.  This is likely not my final form for this board, but it’s OK.

My teacher meetings start tomorrow with my new colleagues.  I should be more ambitious – food needs to be prepped, laundry folded – but I’m writing and watching Hulu.  Holding onto my relaxed self while I still can.  Tomorrow is a rest day, so I have some time in the morning to pull meals together for the day.  We have meetings almost every day, meet and greet with parents one evening, I have to finish setting up the room, and do some lesson planning.  I’m starting from scratch with everything at this new school.  I’m sure I will be overwhelmed.  Yeah – chillin’ right now.  Calm before the storm, I suppose.

I got some good news last Friday!  Or at least I’m happy about it.  Got another DXA scan a couple days ago.  The last one was done back  in February after a mini-cut phase.  Two days after that DXA, my husband had his car accident.  (He is doing great, but there were a lot of life and financial complications that are on-going.)  And then I had to change jobs.  The last six months have been the most stressful period of my life since my mother died in 1990.  It was truly a test of my new life as a bodybuilder.  There were plenty of days when I didn’t want to workout.  I’ve only been at this for five years, so it would have been easy to slip back into my old ways.  I know I have a cortisol issue, so stress isn’t something I can take for granted.  I’ve had these DXAs done a couple times a year since 2011.  When under stress before, I’ve lost muscle and gained fat while lifting and doing cardio.  This time around, I’ve been avoiding cardio since that can be a cortisol trigger for me.  My plan was to eat enough to keep the muscle growing, but not so much that I would gain a ton, but I knew I’d gain some fat.  That’s how I work.  But I was still not sure what to expect.  It was entirely possible that I would gain fat and lose muscle again.

It looks like I’ve gained about a pound of lean mass and six pounds of fat since February.  I’m thrilled to have gained any lean mass at all considering the stress.  I expected about 5 pounds of fat, so that wasn’t a shock.  Not concerned.  I started biking to work this last week.  Between the biking and teaching on my feet all day, I should be able to create a sufficient caloric deficit without having to cut much food.  Meeting with my coach tomorrow – hoping for some big changes in the program.  Because I’m a bit fluffy, I’d like to start a cut and I really need a new lifting program.  Some things have worked very well, but other things are just frustrating and it would be nice to do something else.

Progress pics – this should be my most “fluffy” phase.  My picture from May is first, then today’s.  I am about 3 pounds heavier today than in the May pics.  I don’t see much difference, but I’m not good at judging my own progress.  I gained grams most places – that’s hard to see right now.  I only know that from the DXA scan.  I can’t flex fluff.


May 2014 / Aug 2014


Top: May / Bottom: August

Pictures like these stir up negative thoughts like mud from the bottom of a clear pond.  The best way for me to deal with it is to share the pics and move past it.  As uncomfortable as I feel physically, I believe I only need to lose 20-25 pounds over the next 11 months – and that’s not extreme at all.   I’m working with a coach who has the experience and perspective about making prep work with life that I need right now.  Just anxious to get started.


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