The last post was about how busy I am.

Today is the second of two days off from work for sick days.  Well, today is also a dental procedure – part two of the triple root canal thing I had done two weeks ago.  Today, the temporary crown is popped off, the effectiveness of the medicine for the infection that was at the bottom of my roots will be assessed, and I hope the news is good so the new crown can be installed.  More on this later…

When I got to work on Tuesday morning, I got sick.  A mild, but annoying, tummy flu sort of thing.  I didn’t feel well enough to set up for a sub that day, so I pushed through.  I took yesterday off to rest.  Sat on my arse all day and did desk work.  Got up early today to get a few sets of Farmer’s Carry in before I headed over to DTR to open and set up for the class this morning.  I had stomach cramps from the time I woke up, but I was able to get a few sets done.  Left DTR to go to school to set up today’s sub.  While there, I felt shaky and cold.  Decided I should skip the rest of the workout and come home to rest before the dental procedure this afternoon.

OK – boring stuff, I know.  Nothing terribly inspirational.  Except maybe that I was still able to do four sets of Farmer’s Carry with stomach flu.    Yeah – probably stupid.

This stomach flu is a gift from God and I am grateful for it for a couple of reasons…

1) Our town has an annual hot air balloon race and it started this morning.  Had I been well and at work, I wouldn’t have had the experience of driving home UNDER the balloons as they were flying low and coming down near the freeway.  That was cool.  It’s always cool.

2) I wouldn’t have had two days of forced “slow down” time.  It finally hit me as to why I’m feeling more strung out than usual.  I’m one of those people who needs quiet alone time to stay sane.  This morning, I have the house to myself.  Just me and the dogs, a bird, and a lizard.  Many pieces of data that have been cycling in my head like a tornado are starting to fall into the right spots.  I’ve been talking about changing my priorities, but I have let people/circumstances pull me off in a different direction from where I need to go.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy5Q-Q3DOcs]

At the end of this video, I whine/vent a little about needing help today and not getting it.  That has to do with the dental procedure.  I have dental anxiety and my endodontist prescribes a little “happy pill” for me to take an hour before.  It really helps – and it has interesting side effects should I take it with a beer…

Oh my!  I wouldn’t want to talk on the phone or make and eat food!  The rest sounds like fun, though.

I am required to have a driver when I take this pill.  I had it set up with Hubby.  He’s done it twice before, so to say he hasn’t been helpful to me is unfair.  He has. But a week ago, he was hired by a client to do a photo shoot today, so I had to find a second driver.  So I asked someone who I’ve been helping a lot lately.  Last night, the second driver texted me to say they couldn’t do it either because yesterday they scheduled something for today during the time I needed the ride.  Or it was just inconvenient?  I’m not sure.  Depends on how you read the text.  Hubby gave me plenty of notice – driver #2 did not.  But it’s good to know where I line up on the priority list for this person.

Today, I’m feeling a little foolish and disappointed – with tummy flu symptoms and dental anxiety.  But a reality check was needed – and if I have to meditate instead of medicate to get through the procedure today to learn the lesson, so be it.  “God’s little kick in my ass” because I haven’t been paying attention or just lying to myself about being helpful and supportive expecting nothing in return – which clearly is not the case since I’m pissed off about not getting what I need today.  I’m sure I’ll feel better emotionally when it’s over and when I’m not sick on top of being nervous.

But the lesson is learned.

I apologize for this post, actually.  I personally hate reading about how people think other people have let them down.

Hubby gets frustrated with me when I won’t ask for help when I need it.  I got married later in life and just learned that it’s easier to figure out how to handle things alone.  I swear if the receptionists at the dental office would let me walk out of there alone today, I’d take my happy pill and drive.  But that’s stupid.  I might end up making and eating food while talking on the phone and driving.

So when my little pity party is over and I’m back to full strength – I’m going to make a serious effort to prioritize properly.  Things have shifted in my head over the last 15 hours and I’ve been quiet enough to let it happen.  The little pieces of data have fallen together into a new perspective.  Now I completely understand my place in the pecking order, despite what has been said to me.  I also know what I bring to the table.  I am clearer now on what deserves my attention and what is just distraction.  THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE.  Yup.  I’m yelling online…at myself.

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This is fun… while I’m writing this at home, my students, who are working on their homework online at school with the sub, are emailing me questions.  It’s kind of awesome.

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