I have a “to-do” list about 20 items deep – so I’ll ignore all that and blog.  A very busy time coming up and I don’t know when I’ll get to write again. 


It’s been a couple weeks in the making – had a big text message/email meltdown with Coach last night and this morning.

I’ve been feeling run down and weepy.  Stressed and unfocused.  The usual…

from him to me didn’t work.

School starts on Monday.  Starting a school year is a beast of a job for a teacher.  Last year, I competed the Saturday before the first Monday.  I planned ahead and that first week, the week after my show, was a rest week.  I didn’t have to manage everything that I’m managing this year.  It will be OK as soon as the routine gets established again.  I’m lucky in that I already know all the names of the kids in two of my classes.  The other four classes, which could be close to 160 new faces, well, that’s a lot of names to memorize.  (Holy crap!  I never thought about it until now, but I might have 200+ kids in my precalculus and calculus classes this year.  Damn.  When I took over the calculus class 5 years ago, there was only one section of precalculus and one section of calculus and they were small classes.  Calculus had seven kids the first year.  I now have about 50.  We are an urban, low-income school.  A lot of adults and kids have worked very hard to make that happen.  Can you tell I’ve switched from “bodybuilder mode” to “teacher mode”?)

This year, the school calendar was changed so we are starting a few weeks earlier than we used to.  I didn’t plan ahead, well, because I really only had about 4 weeks between my June show and the first meeting back at school.  I needed that mental vacation.

NO! No, I am NOT ready. >:-(

So the stress of it all hit me hard this week.  The training program has been wearing on me.  I haven’t been able to keep up the intensity.  I’ve been helping Coach open his new private fitness facility this week.  I’m training people there now.  Faculty meetings started yesterday.   I’ve been up at 4 am to get the gym thing done before work – that’s the routine.  It’s a HARD routine to get back into after not using an alarm clock for weeks.  Too much to do and very little time to get it done.

I cracked last night.  I wanted to quit strong woman training.  He did the usual pep talk – and did it again.  Nothing worked.  I emailed him this morning and told him that I just needed a little time and space to get school started.  I actually skipped a lift today and did cardio instead.  I was very weepy and emotional.

I also had a big lump on my gum between two molars.  Again?  I had this a month ago and it was treated with antibiotics.  Looks like whatever it was came back.  Got an emergency dentist appointment this afternoon and left with a referral to the same specialist that did my oral surgery last year.  It appears that I’ve got an infection under the tooth or in the bone.  I don’t get much pain with these things.  Dentist speculates that lifting these last few years has increased my blood volume so the toxins get flushed until it’s a more advanced infection.  So it looks like a second oral surgery is coming up.  I go in for the first appointment next week.  I’ll need to get a sub that day – oh well.  It needs to be done.

Ah ha!  Sort of explains my fatigue and moodiness, I think.  Body has been a little busy trying to fend off this thing so my workout recovery hasn’t been – optimal, I guess.  My CNS is probably fatigued, too.

After I explained my challenges this week, and acknowledged that they may be excuses or they may just be real life, Coach switched from “suck it up, princess” to “we’ll work it out this weekend”.

Tonight I feel about 200 times more relaxed than I did this morning.    I can usually get my focus back when I need to.  It’s been just GONE this week.  Lesson to be learned here – if I can’t bounce back, there might be something wrong.

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