I don’t know about this.  2012 was an amazing year.  Epic.  There is nothing like your first time.  Memorable.

First show.

Now that I’ve done it, I know what to expect.  That fear of the unknown is gone.  How can anything I do now compare to facing that fear?  Oh heck – I didn’t just face that fear.  I LOVED the whole experience. (Except the water depletion.  Hated that. But it’s not your dream if you don’t sacrifice, right?)  I wasn’t nervous to go on stage.  I was excited.  And once I was out there, it was…so…much…fun.  Much more fun than I expected.  I expected to be scared to death.  I expected to freeze up.  I’m not an exhibitionist.  I don’t feel comfortable walking around the house in my underwear.  I don’t like tight clothing.  But you all saw the look on my face – the smile.  Pure joy.  That’s exactly how I felt.  I practice a lot.  Couldn’t go to sleep until I practiced.  I practiced smiling when I posed, but I sucked at it.  But I couldn’t help smiling when I was out there.  It helped to have a few friends screaming in the audience.  That was awesome.

I don’t have resolutions.  But I do have goals for the next show. Very obvious goals.  Some I can control, some I can’t.

1) come in leaner and larger (I can control this.)

2) improve my mandatory poses ( I can control this, too.)

3) win my division (I cannot directly control this.)

4) win the overall (I cannot directly control this.)


While I think I’m a pretty good teacher, I give props to my coach.  He’s experienced and he stays current on research.  He’s smart and I’ve learned a lot from him.  Without ever mentioning “metabolic damage”, he prepped me with more calories, more carbs, and less cardio than I expected.  It didn’t really get hard until the last week when the depletes started.  I’ve been told by one pro that is exactly how it’s supposed to be, in her opinion.  I was happy with how I looked on stage, too.

For the last couple weeks, we’ve been negotiating when to start my cut and I’m losing ground.  It’s really just a matter of a couple of weeks, so we’re basically on the same page.  And it’s logical to assume I’m too close to the problem.  I want to start my cut in a couple weeks.  He wants me to wait until February.  I’m nervous about the timing of this show.  Last summer, the show was at the end of August.  Except for a three week period in July, I wasn’t working after the first week of June.  Plenty of sleep, less stress.  However, this time, things will be different.  After I wind up the school year, I will only have about a week and half off before I’m on stage.  There will be more stress.  There will be less sleep.

He knows what he’s doing.  He knows me and how my body reacts.  So I just have to shut up and do as I’m told.  I know I’m vested in the success of the people I work with.  I need them to do as they are told, too.  I should practice what I preach, right?

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