Between workouts right now.  I have to get up early tomorrow, so bed will be early tonight – or as early as I can manage it.  Need to write this now.

I’m tired today.  Not sleeping soundly because I’m getting nervous.  I had dreams about posing all night.  Might be a little preoccupied with that?  Nah.  It’s important.  I’m practicing a lot and finding new angles for things that present my little muscles in bigger ways.  I hope.

This morning I did shoulders – for two freakin’ hours!  One arm at a time, as many sets as it takes, 12-15 reps per set, takes a while for me.  Shoulders aren’t my best workout.  I can’t move heavy weight, so I increase the reps and sets.  At one point, I just got pissed off, so for the last set, I closed my eyes, and cranked out a surprising 20 reps to finish off an exercise so I could move on.  Mind over matter.  Thought I was tired.  And then 20 reps popped out because I was ticked off and focused.  In the last couple of weeks, I’ve done that quite a bit.  It’s surprising how much excitement/anxiety/adrenaline/stubbornness makes me push to do more than I thought it could do.  And I’m doing glute kickbacks between sets.  Lots of extra butt work.

Hour of cardio on StairMonster after shoulders.  More glute kickbacks while stepping.  And lots of stepping variations to keep my mind from going numb.  During that hour, between the sets of kicking my legs back, I was reading the status updates of my friends on Facebook.  Lots of poolside lounging, lakeside lounging, napping, shopping, eating, vacation stuff, etc.  Prompted this status update from me…

“Relax? I relax. That’s what you do between sets. Duh.”

As much as I love this lifestyle, there are moments when it feels like I’m missing out on something.  But just moments.  If this were easy, it wouldn’t be worth it.   I’m certain that my ‘vacation pictures’ won’t look like anyone else’s.  LOL!

What I really miss is time with my husband.  His office is at home and I just like being there.  That’s why I tried to workout at home last night.  It didn’t work.  There is a certain intensity that I need to have when I workout that I just can’t get at home.  Lately, I’ve only been able to get my head in the right place if I workout at my lifting gym.  I can do cardio anywhere.  I can practice posing in a few places.  But if I’m going to lift, I want to lift there.  But for workout #2 today, I don’t want to drive all the way into town, so I’ll do arms at the little gym that’s only a few miles from home.

After workout #1, it was off on a hunt for distilled water.  There are two bodybuilding competitions in my town on the same day, two weeks from tomorrow.  Two Walmarts in town have been sold out for a few days.  I found some water at Winco and decided to buy up as much as I think I’m going to need from now until the show.  It’s still in the car, but I covered it with my windshield protector.  It’s too hot and I’m too tired right now to haul 30 gallons of water.

Why Bodybuilders Drink Distilled Water

I need a nap, but I won’t take one.  I have laundry to finish, lessons to plan, makeup to practice…but I won’t do any of that stuff either.   Shortly after I finish this blog, I’ll head back to the gym to do arms and a posing practice.

Oh, and today is the day I stop whey protein and my preworkout supplement.  And coach said I can’t even have unsweetened cocoa, but I can keep Stevia.  (This is exactly why I asked D to coach me – I wouldn’t have known to cut the cocoa and not the Stevia.  D is experienced and badass.  He is a competitor, bodybuilding and power lifting and who knows what else because he likes to push himself.  This man is NOT a bikini-diva-cardio-bunny-making sort of trainer like so many in town.)  So my after-dinner-fake-chocolate-ice-cream is no more.  NOW things get difficult.  I guess my “treat” is stevia and lime in water.   But my real treat will be that damn six-pack.  It’s almost here…

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