The view from my StairMonster.

The only network television I see is in the cardio room at the gym.  (We switched to Netflix on an AppleTV at home.)  Usually, I’m reading my Kindle and ignore it, but I got distracted today.

On MTV-2, there was some show where men with hairy butts stuck those butts in people’s faces.  Then a segment came on called “Skid Marks”.  I stopped watching that TV.  Yuk.

Dr. Oz was on another television.  I don’t normally watch that show, but when I’ve seen it in the cardio room, it looks pretty good.  But today?  It was weird.  The audience was women in bathing suits.  A very brave bunch of women.

Got distracted by Facebook on my phone…

The next time I paid attention, Dr. Oz told the women (closed captioned in the cardio room) that they could speed up their metabolism by eating a combination of papaya and hard boiled eggs for breakfast and to use Korean hot sauce on other foods.

Cut to commercial – for a plastic surgeon.  Tummy tucks, liposuction, implants…

What the hell??

I’m doing it wrong.  I’ve apparently wasted the last three years dieting and exercising.

Gotta go now – need to get some Korean hot sauce, papayas, and I’ll call a plastic surgeon tomorrow.  Wonder if they will do delt implants?  That’s where I need ’em.  Trying to shrink the ones in front of my pecs.

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