Random Topic #1: I’m very, very tired.  Good tired.

This week I lifted heavier than ever before.  By the end of the week, I felt huge.  Sore and huge.  Sore, huge, and TIRED.  It feels like I’m growing out of my skin.  If you told me I looked a little green and that my clothes were tearing, I’d believe you.  I needed TWO massages this week.  After the first one on Wednesday, my body swelled up with fluid.  I don’t think I drank enough water to flush the toxins Diana rubbed out.  That was a really weird feeling.  I also gained a couple pounds this week unrelated to that fluid gain.  The weight gain combined with the big strength gains are a very, very good sign that I’ve got the cortisol under control, that I needed that rest week, and that the diet and supplement plan is good.  I’m getting the nutrients I need when I need them.

Random Topic #2: Cheat Meals

OK, I’ll confess.  It’s more like a cheat half day.  It’s also a rest day.  I had to work at the gym from 6 am until noon.  Then grocery shopping.  I planned to eat a late lunch and have that be my cheat meal.  Again, I confess.  It’s been a LOT of cheating today.  Three pieces of lasagna and four ice cream sandwiches.  They were Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches, but FOUR defeats the purpose of the “skinny” part.  Then I found the artichoke dip my husband bought yesterday and had to have a little bit of that.  Yum.  I’ve been logging food for almost 136 weeks.  Cheat meals (or half days) aren’t a big deal.  I do this about twice a month.  Shocks the system a little bit – keep the metabolism fired up.  Restores glycogen to the muscles.  And I imagine I’m depleted after this week.

Random Topic #3: Crossing Over to the Dark Side

Someone recently said to me that they were training to compete this summer, but they aren’t really “into” the bodybuilding lifestyle.  Someone else told me that they love competing, but hate training.  Neither of these things make sense to me.  I LOVE THIS LIFESTYLE.  I love everything about it that I’ve experienced so far.  I do not know if I will like competing, but I’m assuming I will.  I even love the pain.  That good pain that tells me that I did real work and that I’m growing muscle.  OK, another confession.  I’m not thrilled with dieting and cardio, but it’s part of this life and I accept it like I accept the fact that I have to eat vegetables.  I say this at the end of a week when I was lifting so heavy it freaked me out and at the end of a cheat day – so I guess I wouldn’t really take me seriously right now.  I’m full and happy.  Contest prep may be harder than I think.  Don’t care.  I’m determined to love every single minute of this.  You know why?  Because I’m blessed to be able to do it.  I know this.  I do not take that for granted.   So what’s the “Dark Side”?  The bodybuilding life.  No matter what I look like, I AM a bodybuilder.  I think like a bodybuilder.  I walk it and talk it.  Everyday I look in the mirror and I see some small change somewhere that confirms that the transformation is taking place.  This isn’t something I’m doing temporarily for a show.  This is now my life.

Random Topic #4: 30 weeks out

30 weeks until show.  Because my body is responding well with respect to muscle growth, I don’t want to change anything with the diet for a couple more weeks – or rather, until I pull a truck.  I’ve been eating about a 200 calorie surplus each day and it’s pretty clean.  Got a little issue with the Valentine’s conversation hearts, but that’s not something serious.  I think I will add in more cardio this week though.  I want to start pulling the sled at American Iron.  Seems like a fun way to get my cardio done.  I’m having oral surgery on Feb 1 and I don’t know how that will impact my workouts.  I will have stitches in my mouth for a week.  (It’s not going to be a fun surgery. )  Everyone tells me that I have plenty of time to get lean for the show.  I don’t know.  I don’t know how this 50-yr-old post menopausal body will respond to anything since this is my first show prep.  So far, it’s done pretty much it’s own mysterious thing.  Losing the weight was easy when I was starting at 200 pounds and 44% body fat.  Now, it’s a little trickier.   Oh well.   I accept that and love the process just the same.

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