One very fuzzy dream I have is to turn all of this into a book.  I’m a normal middle-aged woman who is doing something a little scary.  I never was an athlete.  I was a typical 40-something woman who worked too much and felt like I needed to take care of everybody except myself.   I gained weight and developed high blood pressure.  The “experts” I consulted at the time told me that a “woman my age” would have a hard time losing weight because my metabolism slowed down.  No kidding!  I was sitting at 44% body fat.   So I started down a different path taking small steps.  Found new experts to help me.  It’s not an unusual story.  Many have done it.  But the bodybuilding part?   I think that’s a little unusual for a woman my age.  Heck, it seems to be unusual for a woman – period.  The bodybuilding isn’t the thing I want the book to be about.  If I ever write it (and I have no idea how to organize it or what the book will be about), I know what I want to communicate.  I want people to feel encouraged and empowered to do the things that scare them.   You know, the “someday I will” things.  I was encouraged and empowered by others, so I guess feel obliged to pay it forward.

I started this blog thinking it would help me document things for that book.  I also promised that I would be as transparent as possible about my journey.   Thing is though, being transparent makes me feel a little vulnerable.

Ok, so why do I think I’m in my own way again?

Hubby Paul posted a link to my blog on his Facebook page this morning.  He’s proud of me.  He wanted to share it with his friends.  A very loving thing to do.  But I freaked out a little.  His Facebook site is public.   I’ve had some negative comments in the past that I let distract me.  Some direct and some subtle.  A few hours after I asked him to delete the post, I realized that he’s right.  It shouldn’t matter.  If I’m going to do this, I need to ignore that stuff.  If I’m serious about sharing my story in a book, I will be sharing it with everyone – including people who will be insensitive and with people who may want me to fail.

OK.  Let’s do a quick inventory…my shoulders are getting broader.  My support system is rock solid.

So bring it on.   Let’s go public.  Sticks and stones.  Not only can I handle negative comments, I can probably deflect the sticks and stones, as well.

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