Measurements later today. Working toward this day since April. Big day. This is what I was supposed to get done…

1) body fat = 18%
2) add 1.5 inches to my arms
3) increase size of quad sweep
I don’t think I hit the arm goal. That goal was probably a little ambitious, so I’ll be OK if I don’t hit it, as long as there is some growth. Same with the sweep.
But the body fat number is my greatest worry. I feel like August was a wasted month – I just maintained and don’t feel like I made significant progress. I came off the two-a-days so I was tired. Paul was traveling so routines at home were different. I was working at the gym and that screwed up my workout schedules. First month I was working on my own without a trainer. And I wasn’t really confident about what I was doing. I thought I was supposed to be maintaining my weight. And I did. Maybe I was supposed to? I don’t know. But then I realized that I can’t gain muscle at the same rate as I can lose fat, so the weight should be dropping. Figured that out a couple weeks ago. Took another week to get that theory confirmed, so I’ve been working like crazy for 9 days to do what I think I should have been doing slowly for a month. I’ve lost 4 pounds in 9 days. It’s not a lot, so I’m hoping it was a lot of water and some fat.
I’m very afraid that I may have screwed up and lost lean body mass. The general opinion out there is that if I kept the protein up and kept lifting, I’d be OK. But I haven’t been able to lift well in the last week (low energy). I’ve been extremely moody, so the stress levels have been high. All predictable side effects of low carbs. And I increased the cardio – I can’t tell you how many different opinions are being hurled at me about the cardio. It’s very confusing.
My weight this morning is 145.8 pounds. If I maintained the lean body mass I had in July, my body fat is at exactly 18% today. I’ve lost weight, so something went away. I can tell from the mirror that I’m leaner. I know how to lose fat. It’s the muscle that worries me. If I lost muscle, I’m going to be very upset.
If the numbers turn out well, I’ll feel reassured that I can do this on my own. That’s what’s on the line for me today. It’s not just about the 18% number. I’m kind of trapped between a rock and a hard place right now. I can’t afford training, but I think I need it. If I can’t progress on my own – well, I just have to, don’t I? Might just take longer than a month to figure it out.
The numbers are important. I know non-bodybuilders look at me and say “but you look great”. I appreciate that, I really do. Compared to where I was in June 2009, I’m thrilled and proud of what I’ve done. But I’m looking forward now. Looking slim and fit isn’t my goal. It’s about getting large and lean.
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